It was a long tiring day filled with hustle bustle and chaos of surrounding. All I knew was the next train I catch will take me towards peace that is a home away from home my hostel. I was getting impatient to reach back because after entire mess of day what I needed was my supper and a good sound sleep. But is it possible in Mumbai to have peaceful thoughts even ? even local trains in this city constantly reminds you that life is all about devoting yourself to work and struggle. Although, I am use to this life by now but today I just want to be myself I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Maybe I am too exhausted or it is possible that I am suffering from epic mood swings. I normally do behave in this way but today my anxiety is at different level altogether. All I demand today is to be alone, be myself but yes, even that is not possible because as soon as I reach back. I will have different things to do and different sounds to deal with which will not allow me to even sigh peacefully. But, nobody can help this hostel life is all about friends and their usual nuisance and anyway I love that place because It provides me same protection as house does.
Catching 7.15 local at Dadar is tougher then cracking JEE exam. It seems, entire Mumbai at once decides daily to commute through same route. Getting In train makes you feel like qualify exam and trust me if you manage to get a seat you feel like top 10 rankers. Like everyday I had to pick this challenge again today as I had no choice, travelling in locals along with entire Mumbai population is the only option.
Finally this train has arrived and somehow I have to manage to get in, somehow I did but I couldn’t qualify exam of getting a seat. All I had to do was squeeze myself to fit in entire crowd to survive that journey of 30 minutes. All I wanted is to get done with my travelling as soon as possible but observing everybody’s expression in local is also a very interesting task. Most of the time none of us pays attention to it but let’s give it a thought there is so much to understand something about everybody’s life just from their glance and expressions. Their faces gives rough idea of how their entire day was. what I could gather from chit chats going on in small groups was this common notion, scarcity of time. I couldn’t understand the reason behind getting late at the end of the day. What have we all done to ourselves in this hustle bustle of time? Are we even living our life or just going through it? What is the use of working hard and striving so hard for it when we don’t have time to look ourselves and pay attention to oneself.
Anyways, my travelling for the day was coming to an end. As soon as train stopped I was thrown out of train by crowd. Well this is a normal way of coming out of Mumbai Local in crowded hours. Now I had to head towards hostel. A place where I get non-edible food, a place where my privacy is every time is intruded but still it is home away from home. In spite of getting bad food and no peace at all this place still provides me some sort of comfort which I had only experienced at home. Maybe after so many problems still this place is very difficult for me to leave. All I wanted was peace because I was too exhausted I wished to stay alone in hostel for one night away from all noise and hustle bustle, I wanted to be myself for one day, I was longing for uninterrupted silence for a while.
But wishes are wishes they don’t get fulfilled always and definitely not this one, this I knew for sure. So , finally I reached my destination my hostel, but today, hostel was not like everyday. There was something different which I was not able to figure out. In my two years of hostel life hostel had never been that quiet, I couldn’t understand what had gone wrong. I got inside I couldn’t see even a single girl in entire hostel there was no one around. Then I decide to head towards my room where I could get to see my roommates at least. But, Alas! My room was locked. Thank God I had keys but why did this happen to me nobody told me before leaving and how did hostel grant nigh out to so many people at once. Finally I heard bell for dinner, I had hope of seeing someone at least. In hall of hundred girls it was only me who was present there and I only saw my warden. It was only two of us who were residing in hostel that night. I couldn’t hold my curiosity for longer duration and I asked her where was everyone then I got to know everybody had gone for a visit to hostel dome for one night. It was hostel’s property. But why without me. Nobody tried to call me up or contact me. I was in despair after hearing this.
I know I was longing for this since long but, I was not serious. How was this even possible to stay in this scary hostel with scary warden that too alone. How I wish I could have asked for something else but now nothing was possible I had to stay alone even if I did not wanted to I had no choice. I was missing that chaos and hustle bustle. Today , I had all peace to myself I always longed for but still I was not happy with staying alone.